Once again trying its hardest to flex some prohibition muscles, the DEA released its annual list of narcotic slang terms. The latest public dossier from the feds is equal bits hilarious and terrifying, with the agency’s multi-billion dollar budget funding some absurd research into street names for everything from cannabis concentrates to steroids.
For cannabis, in specific, the DEA went deep, taking up nearly an entire page of the report to detail seemingly-arbitrary strain names, ridiculous laced-drug combos, and some downright silly monikers that we’re almost positive the feds made up just for lulz. To start, the feds listed “Shrimp,” “Mowing the Lawn,” and “Churros” as popular terms for the green.
On top of featuring downright laughable weed slang like “Smoochy Woochy Poochy,” the DEA noted at least 10 strain names, including classics like Blue Dream, years-old favorites like Girl Scout Cookies, and new hybrids like Mochi (though the agency couldn’t quite get the spelling right). For some reason, the agency also marked a number of cultivation terms — such as “hydroponic” — alongside the strain names, in an apparent misunderstanding of the differences between plant genetics and growing techniques.
Over the past few years, the DEA has also kept a separate list of nicknames for cannabis extracts and concentrates. And while the agency has caught up a little from last year by adding terms like “Solventless,” “Rosin,” and “Rosin Tech,” the agency is still a step behind cannabis culture’s constantly-evolving lexicon. Despite mentions of newly-popular products like “Sauce” and “THCA Crystalline,” the guide is missing any reference to distillite or cartridges, two of the more popular and omnipresent forms of weed.
All in all, the list suggests that the next time you’re on vacation in a strange city and someone offers to sell you an eighth of “All-Star” or “Wooz,” odds are they are probably a cop.
Looking for a good laugh after your next “blung”? You can check out the DEA’s full list of hilarious narcotic slang terms here.
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