[Canniseur: Is this an April fool’s joke? We think so, but it’s still a fun read.]
There was a time not so long ago when being a part of the cannabis community was more of a red-eyed cult than the mainstream bore it has become today. There were no discussions 30 years ago, or even 20, about pot stocks, and you’d darn well better believe that nobody cared what CBD was all about.
Even diehard stoners, those who treated every issue of High Times as though it had been written by God himself, didn’t give a second thought to the possibility of weed having any other function than making food, music, and sex — every aspect of life really — just a little better.
This was when it was not uncommon to get locked into hours of controversial debates, full of government conspiracies and other lunatic rants intended to rationalize, if at all possible, Uncle Sam’s hellbent mission to keep the cannabis plant buried in the underground. “Legalize it” was a familiar war cry back then. It was written on rally signs, branded on t-shirts and even used to punctuate those less than desirable social situations when weed induced a strange or comical reaction (like vomiting up a lung from excessive coughing) that killed everyone around us with laughter.
Ahem-ahem-ahem-ahem… BLARGH! Legalize it!
But maybe, just maybe, if some of the plant’s more loyal followers had been shown a vision of how the legal system was going to shake out eventually, they may have had a very different opinion on the matter.
Although marijuana is only legal in a handful of states for recreational use, it is plain to see that the business of growing and selling weed in America is on a dead-eyed path to becoming the same kind of hole-in-the-sheet commerce that alcohol has achieved since being unleashed from the shackles of federal prohibition. It is a new day for the doobie (wait, do people even use those anymore), one where consumption is done through the use of concentrates, vapes, THC-infused beverages, and even suppositories.
But this is cannabis 2.0. It’s a weird scene, tightly regulated, and, depending on who you ask, as dull as the new Motley Crue biopic “The Dirt.” So much that teens aren’t even using it anymore as part of their rebellion repertoire. And Republicans, the anti-drug ’til death mongrels stinking up Capitol Hill, are now part of the movement to end pot prohibition once and for all. Some call it progress, while others say the culture was far better before pro-pot warriors swooped in and made an absolute mess of it. Here are just a few reasons why some cannabis users want to Make Weed Illegal Again.
Too Much THC In Legal Weed
Everyone can appreciate good weed — the kind that comes with a nice buzz but doesn’t turn us into blathering cartoon characters — but the problem is there really isn’t any lousy pot being produced in the U.S. All of the marijuana being sold in legal states is a much higher quality than the Mexican stuff that everyone used to get their hands on. Even the homegrown raised back in the day by the rednecks of the Midwest didn’t kick with such intensity. Some have referred to this new level cultivation hocus-pocus as “Herojuana,” because it is indeed potent enough to turn even the most experienced user into a catatonic mess. Just take a couple of dab hits and try to go about your daily routine without losing your shit. Chances are you’ll end up screwing the pooch before it is all over. Some members of the cannabis community say legalization destroyed the ability for regular users to just casually consume throughout the day without getting totally obliterated and acting weird. Now, everyone has to microdose or run the risk of being too stoned.
Legal Weed Cuts Into Profits of Longtime Black Market Dealers
Cannabis advocates often argue that establishing a taxed and regulated system eliminates black market dealings — whittling away at the overall crime rates associated with the distribution of illegal drugs. Considering that legal marijuana states are raking in millions of dollars every month, there is no doubt that plenty of people have bid farewell to their neighborhood dope man and started making their pot purchases through legitimate channels. This has given some small to mid-level drug dealers a hard way to go because they can longer support their families by slinging dime bags out the back door. Although some customers still frequent the underground to escape high taxes, it’s just not enough to keep every street hustler running in the black. Unfortunately, drug dealers do not qualify for unemployment, nor do they get social security benefits or healthcare. These folks are the ones who really wish we could make weed illegal again.
Nobody Shares Their Weed Anymore, Man
One of the most highly revered aspects of the cannabis culture was that getting high once came with a social component that some argue is missing today. Back when marijuana possession could still result in a jail sentence, people often scored a fat sack of grass and spent the next few evenings passing joints around with friends. But the communal smoke circle just doesn’t seem to hold any weight these days, especially in spots where weed stores are as prevalent as Starbucks. Now, it’s mostly a BYOW (bring your own weed) type of situation, and stingy stoners are everywhere. So, while it might now be difficult to find someone to share a joint with in a prohibition state, don’t expect this high hospitality in places like Colorado. They simply aren’t having it.
We Just Miss The Old Days… the Thrill of Living That Outlaw Life
While the convenience of just walking into a pot shop for more weed is a concept that hasn’t taken long for most to embrace, others say they miss the thrill of the hunt. These sickos were much happier when it was necessary to assume some level of risk in order to get their hands on weed. Of course, it goes without saying that this rare breed of cannabis consumer may be some of the most morbid of the movement, yet it is not to be discounted that many appreciated the scene more when there was an element of danger associated with it. This group wants to see pot go back to a time when everyone was on the same level and not something bound for Walmart.
Nothing… Nothing At All
There are plenty of gripes about legal weed, that’s for sure, but most members of the cannabis community say they wouldn’t change a thing. Well, certainly lower taxes would be appreciated. But very few cannabis consumers miss the time when putting in a call to a weed dealer meant sometimes waiting around for days to catch a buzz. Most don’t miss having to spend time with questionable characters just to get it either. And having the luxury of buying pot just like a beer has undoubtedly taken the pressure off users since they no longer have to give their vehicles a complete inspection before hitting the road. In the old days, failure to make sure that turn signals and brakes lights were functioning properly could result in shakedowns, arrests and prison time.
But not in today’s legal climate.
Still, there are some who argue that cannabis is still problematic for those who fail to follow the rules to the letter. Grow more than the allotted two to four plants or whatever the law permits and you’ll still go to jail; get caught carrying four ounces instead of the allowed 1.5 and here come the savage repercussions. Many believe a better scheme would be just to decriminalize it, and put the kibosh on all of this industry noise. But that’s never going to happen. This is America, after all, where greed rhymes with green for a reason. The good old days have done come and gone.
Now, it’s just business.