Lead illustration by Heather Benjamin
[Canniseur: This works better for women than for men. I’m a guy. I’m jealous. My only question is: why would we even question if an orgasm is real? If you feel it, you’ve got it. Orgasms might make our nethers feel good, but the whole thing happens in our brain.]
Welcome back to Stoned Sex, the column where I’ll be exploring the intersection of sex and sativas, intercourse and indicas, often through first-hand experience and interviews with experts.
For this week’s edition, we’ll be diving into the stimulating world of hands-free orgasms: Are they real? And how can you have one? If you keep reading, you’ll find out. ‘Stoned Sex’ will be running every other week, so make sure to stay tuned for the next dose.
I came my face off in a tent at a music festival. I had to zip myself inside because I was so high after eating a weed brownie (that I purchased from a hippie couple) that I began having spontaneous orgasms and did not want to be in public. What happened to me?
In retrospect, I now know that was my Eve moment: I ate the forbidden fruit and was rewarded with unknown and unexpected sexual pleasures. But surely that was a one-time thing, right?
Wrong. A similar thing happened to me nearly a decade later. I was on my couch, and was feeling extremely turned on by a new romantic interest. After consuming a few 10mg medical marijuana tablets, I closed my eyes and started fantasizing about how hot the sex would be with my new crush. The next thing I knew, I found myself in the throes of an orgasm without even touching myself. The ecstasy began in my clit, then spread throughout my body like spilled wine. But how could this be?
After scouring the internet, I landed on some message boards and learned that I wasn’t the only one having high, hands-free orgasms. So, how can you have one, and how can cannabis take you there?
What Is a Touchless Orgasm?
An orgasm is considered a climax of sexual excitement, most often reached by sensual touch. As tantra teaches us, however, there are many ways to have one: from touching the nipples to playing with the anus, and (of course) rubbing the genitals.
While we usually feel most orgasms in the genitals, sexual excitement begins in the brain. That’s why sex coaches and therapists say the brain is the biggest sex organ. Therefore, touchless orgasms — yes, without using your hands to manipulate the erogenous zone — are as real as the sun in the sky.
“Desire starts in the brain,” said Dr. Holly Richmond, a somatic psychologist and sex therapist. “Arousal is a physiological process. [With] spontaneous orgasms, the physiological piece is still happening — it’s just happening without touch. It still feels like a normal orgasm in your genitals.”
Yes, yes it does.
Most pubescent boys can share tales of spontaneous orgasms thanks to the magic of wet dreams, otherwise known as “nocturnal emissions.” But you certainly don’t need a penis to have one, and you don’t need to ejaculate to have an orgasm. Most adult spontaneous orgasms occur in people with vaginas, however. Perhaps it’s because femme-identifying folks tend to come from mental stimulation whereas men are more visual. “[Women] are so creative erotically,” Dr. Richmond said. “They’re about the erotic story which builds in the brain.”
Of course, this is speaking binarily and more research is definitely needed.
How Can You Have One and Does Cannabis Help?
Anyone can orgasm into another dimension with their hands behind their back — and there are lots of ways to make it happen. For one, horny and confused teens and adults can spontaneously come in their sleep thanks to wet dreams. So there’s that. Pregnant women often report touchless orgasms, which are likely caused by hormone shifts. Tantra instructors and sexologists also lead workshops centered around breathing techniques to induce hands-free orgasms.
Or, you could do what I did, and not masturbate for a week and then consume several powerful edibles.
“Energetic sex is so much easier to access when you’re high,” said Cannasexual founder and relationship coach Ashley Manta. “I’ve had orgasms fully clothed standing up in the middle of an Emancipator concert after smoking a joint mixed with hash. It allows you to be more acutely attuned to the subtle erotic energies that flow through the body. You can move that energy with breath and intention and have incredibly powerful climatic experiences!”
This is exactly why we need research: thousands of years of anecdotal evidence support the claim that cannabis is an aphrodisiac. But there’s no official data we can reference, which is a detriment to the collective consciousness. We know that cannabis is a vasodilator, which means it encourages blood flow and induces effects such as a throbbing clit. And we know that it can enhance sex, but that’s about it.
While sexy stoners like Manta have spontaneous orgasms from inhalation, the documented body-high effects of an edible may be especially conducive to coming ‘til you melt. And the reason why is because they’re stronger, last longer, and go through the digestive tract before entering the bloodstream, which yields a psychoactive high with different characteristics than the feeling you get from puffing. Like an orgasm, however, the plant’s greatest contribution to spontaneous orgasms is in the mind.
“Cannabis reduces our inhibitions, reduces anxiety, helps us feel more calm, more grounded, and lessens insecurities about our bodies,” Dr. Richmond said. For those with sexual trauma, it can also help keep you present and connected while keeping flashbacks and uneasy thoughts at bay.
So, if you want to give the touchless orgasm a go, try my recipe: First, practice self-inflicted orgasm denial. In other words, abstain from masturbation or sex to build up an unbearable feeling of horniness. The second time I had a spontaneous cannabis orgasm, I was in masturbation-free-mode in an effort to ensure that the first time I had sex with my new boo, it would be as explosive as possible. So, hold off just long enough to wonder if you can die from horniness. Then, eat a bunch of edibles and think about your dirtiest desires — you know the ones: your most questionable porn history. I needed roughly 30-50mg to come without touch; the exact dosage will vary from person to person, though. Be sure to do all this at night — and maybe light a few candles, too.
Regardless of what you have below the belt, may the goddess Mary Jane lead you to orgasmic bliss. Who needs a lover when weed can make you come?