[Canniseur: I’ve never heard the term sploof, but I like it. Hiding the scent of cannabis is not easy to do…unless you’re smoking something like hash or other concentrates. This is a handy reference for building your own sploof. Haven’t heard of a sploof either? Read on.]
Every weed lover who has ever tried to toke in secret — whether in a hotel, garage, or their parents’ house — has been confronted with the challenge of what to do about the smell. In the days before vaporizers and other, far subtler methods of consumption, getting high usually required that something be lit on fire. The ensuing smoke, which smells distinctly of cannabis and has a great affinity for sticking to clothes and cars, was a target on the back of anyone hoping to avoid detection — especially in an indoor setting.
Enter the sploof.
If the term sounds unfamiliar, perhaps you know it by one of its many other unofficial names. The mute, doob tube, and whoopee are all regional variations on what essentially amounts to a homemade air filtration device. Though the quality and effectiveness of a sploof is reliant on its construction and materials, the core conceit is to lessen the pungency of the hits you’re exhaling.
Yes, vaporizers, tinctures, and all matter of other products now exist, but for those of us who know we’ll never find a superior experience to lighting up a joint, hitting a pipe, or ripping a bong, the sploof can serve as an essential tool in the modern stoner’s arsenal.|
Before you turn to a sploof, make sure you’ve done the prep work first. This mostly boils down to assessing whether there are any sizeable gaps between doors and the ground or windows that don’t fully shut.
If the goal is to ensure as little smell as possible escapes from the room you’re in, damp paper towels are a great option to help seal the room. You may always wish to invest in strongly scented candles, although it should be noted that strong smells can sometimes evoke suspicion.
The Basic Sploof
If you’re looking to recreate the sploof you once used in your college dorm room, the required materials are quite simple:
- Cardboard toilet paper roll
- Rubber bands
- Dryer Sheets
Take two to three dryer sheets (any of the major brands will work, just pick a scent you don’t hate) and use your rubber bands to affix them tightly to one end of the toilet paper roll. Voila! You now have a rudimentary sploof.
Modifying Your Sploof
Not interested in dealing with dryer sheets? One option is to grab some activated charcoal from your local pet store (it’s often used for home aquariums), and go with that instead. In this case, you’d fill your sploof with the charcoal, using an unscented dryer sheet on both ends during storage but removing one when it use. Activated charcoal may be slightly more cumbersome to work with than dryer sheets, but its effectiveness as a filter is definitely superior.
For a more durable sploof, substitute a plastic bottle for the toilet paper roll. You’ll want to lop off the end of your bottle of choice (nothing over 20 ounces), and then repeat the steps above, either by affixing a dryer sheet to the bottomless end, or first filling it with charcoal and then doing the same.
The Premium Sploof
While the basic model is certainly charming from a nostalgia perspective, it is nowhere near as effective as what you can buy with a trip to the hardware store. Want something that will last? Grab yourself some PVC or ABS pipe. Get it cut to your preferred length, then fill it with activated charcoal. You’ll also need two plastic caps that you’ve drilled holes into. Fix these caps on either side (one with dryer sheets blocking the opening) and you’ve got a sploof worthy of Home Improvement.
Prefer to write the check and let someone else do the tough part? Step up your game and simply buy a full-size air purifier, which is arguably the ultimate solution to keeping bad smells away.
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